Hi guys. It's been too long since I posted something here. I've been wanting to update this blog but I was so busy with work and school that I didn't have the time to blog. There's so many things I wanted to talk about since it's going to be 2014 soon. A lot of things happened in 2013. The things that I've learned, regret and loved. All these made the person I am today. I'm sorry if this post feel emotional because I'm listening to EXO's Miracles In December haha. I will get back to you guys why I'm listening to it later. So anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I've been wanting to share what I've been through this year.
This year has been a roller coaster ride for me as I've been through a lot. From studies to family to CCA and so on and so forth. Firstly, at the start of Semester 1 this year, I really had trouble with my studies. Honestly, my interest in my course dropped and I didn't want to continue in my course. But I thought to myself that I will waste all my efforts during year 1 and so I decided to continue in this course. I thought it would get better as time passes by but no. My results dropped and I had to repeat 4 modules. Which means that I would not get to graduate the same time as my friends. I was really worried and I couldn't think straight at that time. I was so worried that my parents would scold me and would ban from dancing. So I didn't tell them about my results and instead I told them that I did good. I couldn't think properly at that time. Honestly, a lot of my friends didn't know that I have to repeat modules. I didn't want to be embarrassed in front of them. I was so ashamed at that time. I was really having a hard time but I didn't want anyone to worry so I wore a mask. I was smiling on the outside but inside I'm just heart broken, sad and disappointed. I didn't know what to do. I really didn't know what to do. But what goes around comes around. Karma hit me hard. Eventually, my parents got to know about my results because my lecturer called them. On the same day when my lecturer called them, I knew something bad was going to happen. I was not myself on that day. Then my mum called telling me to go straight home. I knew something was going to happen. I will never be able to forget that day. The day that I made mum cried. I was too ashamed to face and talk to her. I regretted not telling the truth. But I couldn't only think of myself. I had to think of my parents and the people around me. My parents who worked hard just to let me go to school. How can I disappoint them like this? Yes, I regretted what I've done. But it's no use dwelling on the past. I had to move on and make them trust me again. I had to. Now, I'm still struggling with my studies but I'm trying hard to gain my passion my back.
What I've learned this year? I learned a lot from my actions, from the people around me. I learned that I'm not alone that is struggling. There are people who are struggling worse than what I am going through. Everything that I have now, I learned to just be grateful and make full use of it. The things that I've learned this year has changed me for the better. The people who have been by my side, cheering me on and also who helped me to stand on my feet again, I am really grateful to have them in my life. The ones who made me smile when I'm at my lowest, thank you very much. Those little things, I'm thankful. Thank you. I love you all for making me feel happy. Family and friends, even my cat, I'm really thankful and grateful to have them. Gosh, I'm starting to cry haha. This year has been a heartbreaking and also a joyous year for me. I hope 2014 will be a good year for me to start fresh. Hopefully.